If I had a nickel for every time I have said that phrase. But yet, they still don’t listen, and here I stand feeling guilty, because once again I yelled.
I am not judging those who yell. I just confessed, I am a mom who does yell. But I can say, it gets me nowhere and is not God’s idea of trying to get the point across.
“A gentle answer turns anger away. But mean words stir up anger.”
This verse maybe doesn’t have anything to do with yelling, but I know in my heart, God calls us to be gentle souls, yet stern when needed. I have learned that yelling at my children raises the level of frustration in the entire house, kids included. When nothing is done, the level of my anger rises.
I have also learned my kids respond more to me when I am gentle but stern. When I try to gently speak and tell or ask them to behave, etc. I notice the outcome is better. Does it work every time? No, my four-year old will still have his meltdowns, throw himself down and roll on the floor. But when I yell, he doesn’t automatically say, “Oh she is yelling! She means business!” The louder I get, the louder his fit becomes. It’s a lose lose situation.
I was doing a bible study with a group of my friends. It taught the different attributes of a lady and what God calls us to be. It was an amazing study and the one thing seemed repeated many times was gentleness.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. – Galatians 5:22-23
Hmm. And Self control. If I am yelling, do I have a gentle spirit? Do I have self-control? If the answer is “No!”, then I know to change my reaction and deal with the situation differently.
Will I get this right every time? Oh gosh no! But it is a work in progress to become the gentle women God has called us to be!
I simply write this as a confession and maybe a help to you. When you feel you want to yell, pray at that moment. Ask God to help with a gentle spirit, and a different way to approach the situation. We can learn and grow in this together!
From mom to mom!