Last week I spoke of The Fifty Shades movie epidemic and talked about pornography and marriage. I can speak of this from a very personal side, because my marriage almost disintegrated because of pornography and the addictive nature it comes with.
I remember being told, pornography is just a “normal” thing that men (and women) do and to just get over it. But I couldn’t. My heart was shattered. I felt completely worthless. I was ready to leave. In my heart, it was just as bad as adultery. How could he do that to me? There was a gaping hole in my heart.
After seeking counseling, I was reminded, my husband is human. We live in a fallen world. Where no one can fill the void in our hearts except Jesus! I was looking for my husband to show me the unconditional love that only God can give. My expectations from another human were too high.
We are going to mess up in marriages. That is why Jesus came to save us, because we sin. Instead of leaving, we sought counseling together and worked on things. Our marriage became stronger because God was at the Center, instead of coming second. I always put my husband on the high pedestal.
Because it is so easy to fall into the same patterns and addictions, we must be careful and pray for God to guard our hearts. I felt very uneasy about the Fifty Shades of Grey from the beginning. I wanted to read it. I wanted to follow suit. But each time, something held me back. I knew I would grieve the Holy Spirit. I read half of the first book and said to myself, “How is this any better than your husband looking or reading porn?” and that is when I stopped. I am not condemning anyone who would like to see this movie or has read the books. Personally, for me, it was the wrong choice. If you do read the books or see the movie, please don’t be blinded by the fantasy. That is not what love is nor what God created love to be! I urge you to please study what God created love to be, it is beautiful!
I pray these very personal posts help women who may have gone through the same thing I have or are going through them! May these words bless and help you!