I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye


It hit me like a ton of bricks. I knew it was coming. We were blessed with the time we had…I was for sure there would be a miracle. Instead, there I sat on my bedroom floor in a puddle of tears. Not ready to face reality.

Someone close to me had passed away. It has been a while since someone this close has passed on. She, in truth, was like a mother to me. Always joking I was the favorite one. Her daughter still remains one of my closest friends.

These past couple  months have been a health roller coaster. Things were bad, then good , then bad again…So naturally , I was waiting for the good to happen again. I didn’t accept the “it won’t be good again”.

On Christmas Eve, our church service ended with carol singing in the home she resided in. I was overwhelmed with so many emotions, joyful, thankful, scared, grief….knowing…This would truly be the last Christmas.

Her daughter (the true and actual favorite  ) Is due to get married beginning of February. She approached me and asked for me to photograph her trying on her dress for her mom. knowing there was a possibility, her mother would not be attending the wedding.  Sunday after church we headed over and spent some of our last moments with her, laughing and having a ball. When going home, I wondered, was that it…..was she just holding on to see her daughter in her dress? Two days later We were told she became worse. I headed to visit again and saw for myself, she was losing her physical battle. I sat in that room and cried. feeling the love, I prayed. She then prayed over another friend and myself. I was humbled by her prayer for me. A woman dying, yet so alive in spirit. I saw the true hand of God at work that evening.

Two evenings later the call came. She had went home.

It has been a couple weeks. Every day is better. Moments remembered come with laughter instead of tears.

I am sure you all are thinking, why is she telling us this story? Because,

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18 NIV
“Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. According to the Lords word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord , will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. After that we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. Therefore, encourage one another with these words!”

I am encouraging you! It’s not Goodbye! It’s, “See you later!” If you are in Christ, you will be reunited with those loved ones in Christ that have passed on.

These verses are the only things I read that saw me through. The Promise of God, written right before you to read and know. It is in my heart that one day, we will be together again. Will I miss her? Terribly. But I can be hopeful knowing and resting on these sweet verses!


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