When You Feel Like a Bad Mom


We all have those days as moms where we totally lose control, forget an appointment, pass-over the much-needed shower and go to the store anyway, and even hide under the covers with the onset of another sibling tirade. Some times though the circumstances aren’t within ourselves but the choices and actions of our children causing us to really question ourselves as moms in this crazy world we live in. I know at times I have taken things my children have done so personally that I’ve questioned everything I ever taught them and cast the lot of “bad mom” upon my heart.

I find myself in one of these situations today. I have a child who has not turned in assignments at school and had a significant drop in grade. I have another child going through a decision already made that I’m not found of and I’m constantly worried about the outcome. I also find myself remembering a morning a few weeks ago when I completely lost it within an hour of my children waking. One child’s tantrum gave birth to another child’s tears, while the third quickly exited the house and took refuge in the car awaiting rescue and taken to school. I was angry and it showed dramatically in my body language, the squinting and crinkling of my forehead and the stomping of my feet as I slammed the door upon our exit to catch the bus. There was complete silence among us as we began our drive and within 5 minutes it started all over again. I blew my top and by the time we reached our destination three of the four of us were crying while the fourth couldn’t get out of the car fast enough to escape the chaos. I sit and wonder where did I go wrong? Surely it’s about me and my mothering right?! If I did this better and I had done that differently than this wouldn’t be going on today, right?

It’s easy to become angry at myself and go through every emotion possible in the short time they are away from home. It’s easy to become angry at God blaming and questioning what He saw in me and chose me as their mom. It’s easy to beat myself up for my childish behavior and blame myself for their questionable decisions and actions.

Satan loves for us to flourish and flounder about in all things easy, but God, always has the strength needed to overcome any situation.

As I sat, entertaining the negative self-talk, God’s Armor came through to combat the negative. When I asked why, He says because you are chosen! When I say they don’t love me, He says you are dearly loved! When I say, they don’t see me how can they possibly know my pain, He says I see you and I know your pain! When I say I’m all alone and nobody will stand beside me, He says you are not alone, I am fighting for you, you need only be still!

God’s Armor is there shielding us from the fiery arrows of the deceiver, we just need to pick it up and claim His truth! Something so easy and yet the hardest to pick up and claim in the midst!

Ohh sweet mammas, we are going to have many hard days where it is easy to affirm the Devil and the lies he speaks to and of us. Just like the song, “Momma Said” by the Shirelles, the Lord never promised us a life of ease but told us instead of struggles we would endure in all facets of life. We must clothe ourselves daily with the Armor of God to drown out the false truths Satan uses making us lose hope and stops us from pursuing truth. Not all things that happen are a direct result of our mothering, but instead the call for growth within our children and with the Lord. We will all endure days, months and even years that will be far from what we have imagined. At the end of it all, it’s not so much about what we did right or what we did wrong but with whom we walked to carry us through!

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