A Blessing In Disguise

IMG_3086.JPG

Sometimes hindrances make a way for the greatest blessings in our life. On the surface that doesn’t make sense, right? From our limited perspective, we don’t count hindrances as blessings. Or think they could lead to blessings either. But it’s true. If not for my own experience, I wouldn’t say this with confidence. But friend, consider this for a moment: Could a hindrance ever reveal the mystery of a blessing? Let me share my story with you. And then you decide.

A Troubling Situation

A few years ago, actually more than 10 years ago, I found myself faced with a troubling situation. In no way did I see my circumstance as a blessing. In fact, my circumstances were so painful I didn’t believe I’d make it through. The situation took the wind out of me. And, to this day, I remember the moment when it all happened like it was yesterday.

The day began like other days except I was expecting my husband later on that evening to return from a trip. I spent my day preparing for his return. I was excited. Giddy. And couldn’t wait to see him. I was making our home inviting and intimate for us to enjoy. I loved my husband. I was happy to be his wife and to support his contributions to his projects and his endeavors. We were like many young Christian married couples who had a heart to serve others. We volunteered our time as youth leaders. He played the drums with the worship team. We stepped in wherever and when a need arose. He was also well-known in our community. He wrote music for the local high school band and instructed their drum-line. People knew us as a unit and not as individuals. We made our mark together.

To say that on this particular Spring day I was unprepared for the conversation ahead would be an understatement. But it’s true. I was preparing for him to come home unaware that our home life would change unequivocally. Our relationship started eight years earlier. I met him at a church event. I was barely saved to know much about Christian living. But when I met him I was hooked. I loved his talents and his character. Very soon we got engaged, and then married a year later on New Year’s Eve under beautiful lights and a wintry mix of snow falling.

A story book wedding really if not a story book marriage to be sure.

The Phone Call

On the night it happened, though, with anticipation I waited for his routine phone call. And then the phone rang. I must’ve sounded like a school-girl because my words spilled over before he could speak. Finally, I took a breath and he jumped in with a statement like, “Babe, I have to tell you something.” My heart almost stopped beating. It was the way he said it that scared me. Then he proceeded. He said essentially that he used his time away the previous week to think about our relationship.

These words tumbled forward: “I don’t love you any more.”

My heart dropped. I don’t think I breathed for a few moments. I literally saw an open window in my mind, and all of my dreams for a happy marriage and my wish to be a mom one day slipped out. I didn’t know how to respond other than to fall to my knees and wretch. I got off the phone quickly as my mind was spinning. I began working a plan.

When he gets home, I’ll convince him that he does love me.

When he gets home, I’ll talk him out of his decision.

When he gets home, I’ll speak God’s word to him.

When he gets, I’ll make this go away.

Oh God, please make this go away!

Those thoughts were racing through my mind faster than I could process my feelings. Then, he walked in. And though I had the faith as small as a mustard seed, the mountain that landed in our living room didn’t move. In fact, for the next two years, I pleaded with him to stay. I begged people to help him see the error of his ways. I attended any and every church service just to stay alive. I cried harder for those two years than ever in my life. I prayed endlessly for God to change his heart. I prayed for God’s grace to restore our marriage. I prayed and prayed and prayed for change. But to no avail. The guy wasn’t changing his mind.

Hindrances Kept Me From Embracing God’s Sovereignty

Now what? Though my husband didn’t change his mind, was I willing to accept God’s sovereignty in my life even if it resembled something different from my dream for a restored marriage?

That’s when I began to realize that there were hindrances keeping my heart from healing. My hindrance became my husband’s choice to leave me. My hindrance became the thoughts that my dreams wouldn’t be fulfilled. My hindrance became a roadblock that kept my heart in pain.

A significant moment. Significant because while I believed that God could restore my marriage I was faced with this question: What if God didn’t? What did that mean? Did it mean that God forgot about me? Or that His thoughts toward me weren’t good like the Bible states?

I needed a new perspective. The Lord began drawing me to His heart each day that I accepted that though my life wasn’t turning out the way I hoped, God wasn’t finished with me yet. God would bless me with or without my husband.

And the divorce did happen. But the divorce wasn’t the blessing in disguise. The Blessing in disguise was how Jesus took my brokenness and my pain and turned them into purpose. Though divorce was never a thought in my mind when I decided to marry my husband, it happened.Things happen sometimes that we aren’t expecting. Or never thought we’d be in the middle of. But we live in a broken world. With broken people. People who get divorced. People who get sick. We can only trust God to see us through these events in our life. A blessing in disguise is revealed when we submit our will to God’s. The mystery in the blessing is that when we keep our eyes on Christ, that is, when we choose to practice our faith daily and through His word, learn how to live a sanctified life, we draw strength from God who is with us.

He doesn’t leave us. His thoughts towards us are good even when life is challenging. And that my friend….is more of the blessing uncovered that we can find in our hurt or disappointments.

The blessing that we can be sure to experience as God works everything together for our good. Beyond our darkest moments. Beyond our crises. Beyond our rejection. Beyond it all friend.

It’s my hope that should you find your story somewhere between the words of my story that you’ll take heart and know that your hardship won’t last forever. It will pass sooner or later. The picture of your life isn’t defined by the pieces of your failure. God is able to make all things new in His timing. Lean into His grace. And be still. Rest in God’s peace. Ask God to show you the mystery in the blessing as you walk through your difficulty. He is faithful to answer. So don’t be afraid to ask!

In God’s Sweet Grace,

Dori

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.
%d bloggers like this: