Transcending Peace

get-attachment (2)
Today as I sat down to begin my quiet time, my focus verse was, John 14:27 which reads “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you; not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” With a smile of thankfulness, I remembered the first time that I ever felt this transcending peace. I was a younger mom with two very little kids in tow that were just a year apart in age, one of whom had colic 12 hours a day, and a husband who was taking a leap of faith and starting his own business. I had just left my job a few months before and was getting acquainted with being a stay at home mom of my two precious kids. Needless to say, God had a big revelation for me in this new plan and path before me.

I was an exhausted mom and had a great support system when it came to my family coming on the weekends so that I could get a reprieve from my colic induced daughter. They would take over so that I could get some rest or work done around the house or give a much-needed home cooked meal for my husband. As I continued to get acquainted with my new role, I found it not as rewarding as the words of affirmation I received at my old job or the pay increases. I fell into depression as I also struggled to know who I was and what my true role was. I was being the mommy and daddy, but not getting the accolades that I felt I deserved for all my hard work. My biggest enemy during this time was myself and boy did Satan have a way with my thoughts toward myself as well as my marriage. My poor husband would come home after business trips repeatedly to a screaming daughter suffering colic, a crying and overwhelmed wife, and a sweet boy who didn’t know what was going on other than his mommy and sister cried all the time. He wanted his daddy to deliver him from this crying mess that became our home.

I needed some saving as well because I sure couldn’t save myself and my husband couldn’t deliver me from my despair. All my efforts were just that, efforts, with no reprieve to the sadness building inside me. I didn’t know then what I do now about asking God for help. I believed that I could do all things on my own and I continually set myself up for failure and disappointment to my standards of what I thought were the workings of a great mom and wife.

Just as my boy needed his daddy to get him away from all the girl drama going on in our house, I needed my Heavenly Father! I wanted peace and deliverance from this storm!

One day in particular, in sheer exhaustion and desperation, I fell to my knees and cried out to the Lord in anger asking why He couldn’t just deliver me from this mess. I probably went on yelling and crying in my room for an hour or more all the while with little hands coming under the door asking if I was okay. When I was finally done, that is when I felt it. A peace that had never been there before, a peace within saying that everything would be okay, a calming of my spirit and a renewed strength in my heart. This peace cannot fathom the worlds definition of peace. This is an unexplained peace and blessed assurance that only He can give.

In God’s Word, it says that we will have many trials and sorrows. The peace He gives is in spirit, not attainable by human hands or endeavors as I once thought. There will be full peace when He comes again to reign on earth and until then, I must let Him reign in my heart to overcome the storms before me and meet that transcending peace that only He can give.

If you enjoyed this post, please consider leaving a comment or subscribing to the RSS feed to have future articles delivered to your feed reader.
%d bloggers like this: